Ice skating is not my thing. Give me roller blades over ice skate any day. Maybe I don’t like ice skating because I’ve only been three times, and consequently don’t know how to, but whatever the reason is, I simply don’t like ice skating.
Yesterday, my family decided we were going to go ice skating. It was a glorious day! Sunny, and cold enough to freeze the ice without freezing us. We hiked to the pond, laced up our skates, put on the Little Women soundtrack, and were ready to go. Or should I say they were ready to go.
For the first twenty minutes they zoomed around the pond while I stood firmly in the middle with my hockey stick, aka the only thing keeping me upright. I was trying to stay positive, but to be frank, I was failing miserable. I alternated between being frustrated with my family for dragging me out there, and being frustrated with myself for not just going for it.
You see, I’m a very awkward ice skater. While I don’t sit on the sidelines and refuse to even try, I also never truly embrace the experience. I shuffle my feet, and move just enough to not be accused of standing still. I know I would greatly improve if I just went for it, but the truth is, I’m afraid. What if I make a fool of myself, what if I fall and break my wrist, what if, what if, what if? The fears play in my head like a broken record.
Yesterday, however, I got tired of being miserable and afraid, and I made the bold decision to let go and truly try to ice skate. So I put down the hockey stick and started skating in little circles, that grew and grew until I was actually enjoying myself. It was still scary, but so worth it.
Looking back, I can see that my inability to ice skate didn’t come from a lack of experience, but from an unwillingness to just go for it. How often do I respond in the same way to situations in my life? How much life am I missing because of my fears? When I am presented with welcoming a foster girl with my family, finding a job for the spring, liking a boy, picking the right classes, knowing which friendships to pour into, or going to Romania, am I letting fear or faith guide my decisions? I’m done with the awkward ice skating. It’s time to find my mustard seed faith!